crafty little gnome: Man Vs. Gorilla Glue

You may have noticed by some of my blog posts and stories that I am married to an interesting man. A VERY interesting man. Today is the first of my two wedding anniversaries this August and it will mark 2 years of never-a-dull-moment- wedded bliss. How can you have two wedding anniversaries each year? We got married three times actually. Once in Canada on August 1st, then again in Las Vegas on August 11th and immediately after our “legit” Vegas wedding we had our vows renewed by Elvis in true Vegas style (I’ll share the Vegas wedding info in a few weeks)

Rob and I at our Canadian Wedding

My husband is a high school teacher by day and a musician by night. He's the most musically talented person I have ever met. He can literally play any instrument you hand him. He's also one of those annoying people who is naturally good at math and he does some sweet magic tricks. Rob' s adventurous spirit combined with complete inability to be embarrassed and lack of shame combined with super intelligence makes for some interesting and wild experiences. There’s plenty of stories to share but for today I will just share The Gorilla Glue Incident.

I blame it on the dogs. They love the taste of bacon grease and when Rob leaves any of his old grease within dog-tongue reach you know they will do whatever it takes to get their paws on the goods. The grease tray from the George Foreman Grill has been the dog’s challenge lately and occasionally we have found it in the backyard with bite marks on it. Last Thursday Rob found it in the back yard in several pieces. Never one to waste Rob decided to clean and sterilize the tray and glue it back together.

The thing about Gorilla Glue is that it does exactly what it says it does. It’s incredibly strong and 100% waterproof . Which is great for sticking things together. Not so great when those things happen to be your upper and lower eyelids. As he was struggling to squeeze out the glue (which was clogged in the nozzle) it suddenly exploded and squirted directly into his eye. Not only does this happen to burn like hell it will also immediately fuse your eye shut. Now if you read the back of the glue bottle it says if the glue should come into contact with your eye you should seek immediate medical attention. Or, if you are Rob just stumble over to the computer and google “How to unglue my eye” or something along those lines. Well the options for un-sticking skin according to google are limited to A) Wait 4 days or B) Rinse the area with acetone (yikes!) Impatience combined with lack of health insurance lead to option B. This may not be the best example of Rob’s super intelligence but I assure you it does exist.


Bad lighting, the bathroom isn't really this yellow

Since there was only acetone free nail polish remover in the house Rob half blindedly (i know that’s not a real word) walked over to his mom’s house to get the remover with acetone and then spent the rest of the day ever so carefully and with the lightest touch attempting to unglue his eye. I was at work the whole time this was going on but luckily Rob decided to document the occasion using my camera. I arrived home from work to find my husband eyelash free and missing half an eyebrow with a curiously red eyeball.
I peered at his bizarrely damaged eye.

“So, What did you get up to today, Honey?”